If you are aware of that you are in a situation where conflict is being caused…the moment when it seems to begin, you might wish to put that brakes on that conflict before it goes further and becomes disruptive…even for generations and even with people who are not present with you right now.
Find a way to signal to the parties involved, right here, right now, that you are concerned that what is happening in this moment is the beginning of conflict. After speaking up, start a conversation in which those of you who are present can explore
- Is everyone involved saying what they actually mean?
- Has everyone involved followed through on what they said they would do?
The primary causes of present moment conflict are
- People not saying what they mean.
- People not doing what they say they are going to do.
If it becomes a regular practice to explore these two at the start of conflict, it can be possible to avert conflict from taking hold and growing.
Can you imagine yourself making this a personal practice? Can you imagine a team in which everyone starts to take disciplined care to say what they mean and do what they say they will do? What do you think the impact would be?